You Think Your Life is Over - So, What DO You Do?

Here's a little bit of a morbid tale, but it has truth and sincerity to it.

If you were diagnosed with cancer, or some other disease that could kill you, what would you do? I don't mean the bit where you mourn, because you will mourn and you will feel self-pity, but after that, once you've gone beyond the angry stage and reached the acceptance stage... what would you do? How would you live your life? Okay, we also have to ignore the devastating ramifications of chemotherapy which will give you no energy, strength or will to do fuq all. Let's say you've gone beyond that or you're going through it and somehow are still managing to live your life doing what you want to do. What would that be? Would you tackle your bucket list? Discover new places, new things to do, new cuisines? Spend time with your loved ones? Get away from your loved ones? Take pilates or yoga? Become a body builder, go back to school, write a book? Become an activist or philanthropist? Help those who need your need? Volunteer at a hospital or hospice? Learn to paint? Go sky diving, bungee jumping, cave/cliff diving - you're already facing death in the face, so wtf, why not, eh? The sky is the limit! Or, would you continue life the way you've been doing? Ponder it and share it! And I'll do the same! <3

PS: There are a few reasons for this post. One is, I've been seeing old social media posts by Laurie IOIO, and I'm wondering (as are many others) how she is, where she is, how her fight with cancer has been coming along... is she even still with us? Laurie is a shining star, helping out so many random people online, especially through the Cancer Survivors and Support page she used to run. I miss her. And as always, another reason, I think about my mommy's fight with breast cancer (often), which lasted 14 months and which she lost. I think about all the people I've met online who were there for me during that time and after she passed away. So many people that I seem to have known forever, for a short time, or who I didn't know prior - you came by and shared your stories with me, your support, your comfort, yourselves, selflessly helping a mourning soul you didn't or did know. I appreciate all of that compassion, even though at times I was too distraught to respond to any of it.

Thirdly, in conversations with friends as of late, we've been pondering our lives and our accomplishments thus far. We think we can do better, we can do more. Life doesn't have to be just daily living, paycheque to paycheque. Instead, let's make our mark! Maybe we already have, so let's mark up life some more ! I too, will ponder what I would do and will share it with whoever is interested in hearing it. Live well, my friends <3

My Pants Are Falling!

My pants are falling! I need a belt! I thought I was gaining weight because my schedule has been quite hectic - working more hours than usual, back at school this semester, started yoga classes again, some medical stuff - so I've been eating out the past couple of weeks. I haven't always made healthier choices (yes, I had sweet potato poutine yesterday *cough*), but I have nonetheless, cut back on a few of my more indulgent vices.  

I got on the scale today and realized I am down another 2 lbs this week, which makes a total of 15 lbs yay! I'm not condoning going out to eat greasy, cheesy fries like I did, but a little indulgence here and there isn't bad! Especially if you've improved other areas of intake. For example, I have cut back on my white breads, dairy products, chocolate (mmm mmmm), soda, and snack/greasy foods (which I  generally only crave when I'm PMSing).  I have also increased my fruit and vegetable intake, which is very helpful. I try to choose more fibrous fruits and veggies such as:

• Apples with skin - 2-4.4 g fiber 
• Raspberries - 1 cup has 8 g fiber
• Bananas -- 2-3 g fiber
• Spinach, sweet potato -- 2+ g each of fiber
• Green peas - 1 cup cooked have ~8 g fiber

As well, I've been eating more oatmeal - I choose the thick cut and steel cut oats, brown basmati rice, and multigrains. Find more high fiber foods here and here.

I never thought I would be able to give up certain foods, like breads/carbohydrates, and chocolate. I haven't actually given anything up - I've cut back, which for me is making a noticeable difference. 

What are your weaknesses when it comes to food? Are there groups of foods you think you will never be able to give up? (You will, mind over matter! ha! So hard to do, but with time, I'm finding it easier, or rather, I'm finding that I just don't have as many cravings as I used to. And when I do, I'm often able to control them more now with some semblance of discipline, where once there was none!)

Are You Stuck in the Past?

Stop!  There is nothing you can do that will change what has *already happened*. So stop wasting all that energy envisioning what you did wrong.. why did I do it? I should have done this instead... Forget it! When your mind leads you down that road of negative self talk, just tell it to STOP!  Stop obsessing about it.  It won't change anything.

 You know what will change things?  Admit that you are here, in the present. Live life today. Sure, you may have made mistakes  in the past, or wished you did things differently,  but knowing focusing on those negative aspects won't change anything, look forward and see where you can go and how you can change things today for a better tomorrow.  You owe yourself some happiness. Go get it! Live for today, plan for change. Enjoy tomorrow.

A Seven Week Much Needed Update!

it's been seven weeks since I started my blog and my Health, Wellness and Beauty journey. This is how long my hair has gotten, about 16" - can you imagine I'll be chopping off all those curls!? I only have 26 blog followers - my goal is 1000 lol I'm not sure I'll get there, but it's still nice to have heard from strangers and friends that my words are inspiring  I'm hoping that my writing continues to improve, since I haven't really written anything substantial in over a decade (other than lab reports and pedagogical papers). And, I'm down 12 lbs! Thirty-eight more pounds to go, though I am hoping that over the next eight months, I will be down a bit more, but we'll see. 

So, I would say it has been a good first two months so far, even though there have been lots of ups and downs. Oh, and I have about six people growing their hair and pledging for Cut for Cancer with me on our The Pink Curlers team!  Yay!

Other news... I feel bad that I haven't been keeping up to date on here - so many blogs to write, so little time! But I have had a busy month. Last week, as you may recall, I was babysitting my 5 1/2 year old energetic nephew. We had a great week together, but it started off with me having only two hours of sleep the two nights before going - I started having a lot of anxiety hoping I could take care of him, and that he would be okay in my care.  Then, after I picked him up from his day at summer camp, I was so excited to be spending time with him, that I dumped my purse, cell phone, car keys, house keys on the kitchen counter then went out on the back deck, closed the door behind me, and started the barbecue. Um, my nephew tried to get back in, the door locked on me when I closed it!!! AAAAACK! So yeah, it was a bit of a nightmare, but we prevailed, got into the house after a couple of hours and after spending a big chunk of my just received paycheque on a locksmith. *sigh* Anyway, more anxiety and I only slept 45 minutes that night. 

The rest of the week was nice with my nephew but exhausting. I enjoyed my time with him greatly! He is a remarkable young man and quite brilliant and lots of fun! 

After a few days of being back home, I was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. I had my first heart attack scare. The results they did at the hospital showed there was no damage to my heart - thank goodness!, but I am to see a specialist in a couple of weeks for more testing. It is most likely something going on with my esophagus/digestive system. More proof of that - I now have gastroenteritis. So, yet another day I had lots of plans - work, have my nephew participate in my ALS ice bucket challenge, hang out with him, etc., which got thwarted by poor health.

What is causing this poor health? While my mom was sick I had stomach flu (gastroenteritis) five times. I'm sure it was always just a culmination of everything happening - the anxiety attacks of last week, lack of sleep, financial anxiety - I've registered for school this September - thoughts of once again being a poor student, even though this time I'll be working part time and attending uni part time, many depressing moments thinking about my mom recently, and who knows what else? Oh yeah, I'm pre-diabetic. So.. a lot on my plate!

How to deal with all this stress, sadness and anxiety?  I plan to try to be healthier, try to keep up with yoga more regularly, take moments to breathe deeply - you know our western civilization tends to be filled with shallow breathers? After this scare, it's like a real wake up call - time to get my shit together and just do better than I've been doing. No more damn excuses. I don't want to be diabetic and have to worry about losing my eyesight or a limb, or my glucose levels. I want to be healthy, relaxed and accomplished.

So friends, how do you destress? When was a time you had a medical scare? Or someone close to you? How did you react? What did you do? Did you overcome? How? Please share with us on how to move beyond this point of no control. I need to take control of my life again, and I know I'm not the only one. Let's band together and improve ourselves, even that little bit.

 

Off to spend a week with a precocious, energetic young man

I am heading up to beach country!  Not really to go to the beach, but to babysit my incredibly energetic five year old nephew for the week.  I'm already exhausted thinking about it! Ha! Plus, I've only had a few hours of sleep over the past couple of nights.  This is my first time spending more than a day with him.  I'm excited about it, because he is an incredibly precocious, scientific, fun, funny and the most *beautifullest* li'l boy you ever did see and I luuuuuuurvs him more than anything! <3  But I'm also nervous because I hope everything goes smoothly and that my energy level and back hold up for the week.  And that he stays whole and healthy. 

I'm debating on whether I'm going to take my laptop with me or not.  I've been addicted to gaming since my mom passed away.  I'm sure all that time spent at my computer making those redundant moves is making my back worse.  My brother has a computer in his office in the house, so I have access to that, but I want to try to stay away from it as much as possible. My nephew is going to be at camp during the day - he gets to go on fun trips with his class every day! ... if he wakes up in time and I get him to daycare before the bus leaves! Otherwise, my brother told me he will be very sad when his class isn't there when he arrives.  So, something else to be nervous about!  I know I should just take a deep breath and let it all unfold as it may.  

My nephew is fun but exhausting even after a couple of hours. I am hoping we make it to camp everyday then I have the days to myself. I'm taking up a sewing project (last year I used my mom's sewing machine to sew the first thing I've sewed in about two decades! My mom loved sewing! She made many of her own outfits which she got lots of compliments on, and some of mine as well!).  I sewed a little apron for my nephew because he started making roti's with my brother and well you know... atta (flour) was everywhere! Of course, after I gave it to him, he threw it across the room and said, "That's for babies!" I later figured out that he probably thought it was some sort of bib! hahaha! Now, I'm making him this incredibly cute Humpty Dumpty from a pattern I purchased on Etsy.  I've only started cutting it out... it will be interesting sewing! But I figure, in my down time (if there is any) at my bro's, I can finish cutting it out and pinning pieces together, ready to sew. I would like to give it to my nephew for his birthday in October - he's in his *stuffies* phase and takes his stuffed toys with him wherever he goes!

There is also a beach a few minutes away.  I may go hang out on my own there during the day... we'll see.. I'm not the most incredibly beachy or sun worshipping person, but I do love being in water!  I will try to stay off of the computer as much as possible and enjoy life like it was before the internet era came into our lives!  (Which was in the late 90's for me.) 

So please wish me luck!  I'll take any advice you have on entertaining, cooking for and keeping li'l ones healthy!  I am taking up my backyard croquette set, plus some kinetic sand for the rainy days.   Alright, I should continue to pack.  Maybe my journey will continue online while I'm up.  Let's see how it goes.  I am breezy, I am light, I am not stressing, I am fun, I am energetic, and I am a great aunt!

*exhales*

Our First Donated Ponytail!

It is only the 6th day of August and we've already received our first ponytail to go towards The Pink Curlers' Cut for Cancer!  We started this journey one month ago, and in this time we have six people who have volunteered for chopping off their hair for this great cause!

Yesterday, we had a new client, Jovana, at HBS Spa Life who mentioned she would love to help out and donate her hair to help make a wig for someone in need.  Here are Jovana's before and after pictures:

Jovana was beautiful before she chopped off her hair, but now she is beautiful and a whole new woman! Remember this blog entry about making self changes to brighten up 'blah' days? Well, regardless of the excuse for wanting change, change can be a positive thing and can put that extra little boost in our steps, the gleam in our eyes, and the love in our hearts.  Bravo Jovana for taking such a big step and helping out someone in need!

I am so thankful to all the wonderful people who I am encountering on my journey. Stay tuned to hear more positive stories about new beginnings, continued successes and positive energies making their way to us.

Early on we discussed that I wasn't sure about where I wanted to donate my hair, because my intention was to donate it to an organization that creates wigs for cancer patients undergoing chemotherapy. However, there are organizations like Angel Hair for Kids™ who provide wigs and hair systems at no cost to children who may be undergoing cancer treatments, have alopecia or even burns.  Different organizations have varying hair donation guidelines - generally they will accept 10 - 12" of virgin hair or unbleached hair. Here are the guidelines for donating to Angel Hair for Kids™.

atWell, there's some hair for thought for you, friends!  Enjoy this lovely evening! And remember ... what is beauty? It's what you make of it - feelings, senses, pleasures. It’s who we are, how we got here, and the possibilities of where we can go and who we can become.

See you next time! 

Slow down. Confront. Accept. Commit. Admit. Heal.

I had a surprise guest blogger today.  Contributing to A Journey to Health, Wellness & Beauty in today's post is Christina Rosa Costantino, Registered Massage Therapist of Alternative Healing Massage Therapy in Vaughan, Ontario.  Today, Christina had an experience with a client which inspired the following words about 'commitment, confrontation, admittance, and healing':

"Although there is exciting events and GREAT BIG NEWS I want to share with you with regard to Alternative Healing, I want to take this opportunity to share what I have learned today.  Being in practice for almost a year now, I have prided myself in providing effective, professional and relaxing treatments, but also made, and continue to make, a conscious effort to exhibit a certain level of professionalism. Doing so has allowed me to develop an excellent rapport with my clients, provide an exceptional environment for my practice, and provide the means for me to learn and grow as a therapist.

As a massage therapist I constantly remind my clients to respect my time as much as I respect their time, not only to keep my day running smoothly but also to provide a safe and effective treatment. As my practice grows and I get busier, I feel as if I am accelerating through life on high speed just to get ahead. There is nothing wrong with getting ahead except when we do so uncontrollably and forget the simple principal of ‘practice what you preach’. As much as I rely on my clients, they rely on me. Booking an appointment is a commitment and keeping that commitment is key - not only for their rehabilitation but for my business as well (certain circumstances or emergencies exempted). 

Today I was confronted about an appointment I had moved, with short notice, and it made me realize that I put my needs in front of my client's. Although my passion and skill are evident in every treatment I perform, that one mistake could have be the deciding factor on that client returning and excelling in her rehabilitation. I am the type of person to tastefully address an issue to the best of my ability and the first person to admit when I am wrong. After we addressed and successfully resolved the situation I asked why their concern was not brought to my attention at that very moment and their answer was, `Because I am not great with confrontation`. This means their pain, disappointment and anger was held in until that very point which is unhealthy and gut wrenching. And all on my account.  This conflict and their answer was my inspiration to dedicate this post to voice my opinion on commitment, confrontation, admittance, and healing.

In my opinion, confrontation and admittance is quite difficult to come to terms with, and ironically, they are two important aspects of healing. Unfortunately, we live in a society of intense scrutiny often making it difficult to voice our opinions and concerns. This society somehow enables a fear of judgement and disappointment; my question is why? You are no less of a person nor exhibiting weakness by doing so. All you are doing is hanging onto anger, possibly hate, resentment, or misunderstanding. Hanging onto all of those things can cause anxiety, depression, a physically slower healing process, lack of concentration and much more. Confrontation does not have to be done in a negative manner. It has the potential to be an empowering experience to learn from.

Even though my experience stemmed from my personal conflict in my massage therapy practice the moral is applicable in every day life. There is always a way to acknowledge and deal with an issue and it will never be easy, but once we realize we will not be liked by everyone, accepted by everyone, agreeable with everyone, and that we cannot change everyone, we can heal. Here’s to the hope that sharing my experience and opinion can pull you from your “high speed” chase of life and enable you to stop, assess, learn and make adjustments for the better. Healing isn’t solely based on a physical manipulation it starts from within and manifests into your own expression."

Lovely words of wisdom, Christina.  Thank you for sharing your experience with my readers.  I know it's time for me to slow down, invest more time in my yoga practice, focus on my breathing, and ponder being more proactive and assertive, and just learn to say it like it is.  Learn more about Christina and her massage therapy practice here and please feel free to share your insights on conflict and healing.